Funky Days

Romans 12:12  rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer

I woke up. I’m tired. I don’t like the feeling in my heart. I don’t want to think my day will be funky but honestly that’s how I feel. I struggle through my daily routine of getting ready. I feel heavy. I feel unhappy. I’ve been sitting. I’ve been waiting. I haven’t seen it yet. How long Lord? How long till it comes?

The days are dragging. My sight is diming. My heart is failing. How long till I get a good word? How long till I get that call that will brighten my day? I’ve prayed. I’ve sown seed. I’ve even fasted. Yet, here I am. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Is it in the waiting when my faith is built?

I feel haggard. I feel drained. I feel like I can’t go on and yet, yet, when I think I’ve reached the end of the rope, He gives me strength. He lifts me up. He makes me smile. I laugh too. He reminds me He holds my future. So I press on. I press on because then, I see His hand holding mine. I feel Him close. I hear His voice. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5). I’m happy. We walk hand in hand and He leads me and guides me through the maze of confusion set up by the enemy. He shows me the blessing and my heart swells up with joy. ‘I can do this!’

Or so I thought. Today my heart is heavy. I feel tired. I feel drained. I go about my day in heavy silence. I try to sing but no words leave my mouth. I try hard to rise above the funky day but my shoulders feel too heavy. So I sit and open my bible. I read. I read. I read but the words seem blurry before my eyes. My sight is failing.

How long Lord? How long till I see it?

Patient in tribulations. I didn’t want this part. I wanted to skip this part. Could I skip it Lord? Yet, my faith grows. It grows with each challenge. With each frustration Jesus shows up. With each trial, He proves Himself faithful. He’s never left. He’s never failed me. So, with the word open, through blurry lines my prayer is born. I pray. I pray and don’t stop praying because the word says be steadfast in prayer. I pray and even though in the beginning my words seemed hollow, I kept praying. I kept reminding myself He would never leave me nor forsake me. I pray. I pray and I know He hears me. Soon, the fragrance of heaven fills my prayers and His presence settles in my soul. I pray. I pray and don’t stop. How long? How long until I see it?

Unexpected. Totally unexpected. It came. It came today. I was in shock. Did I not expect it? I don’t know but I’m in shock. It came. The blessing came. With tears, I fall on my knees barely able to offer thanksgiving prayer. I’m overwhelmed by gratitude and yes, I’m in shock. Through the trials, through the pain, through the weary wait He was working behind the scenes. Even when I thought, surely He may have forgotten, He was busy putting it all together for me. He never left. He never forgot. He was always working. That is God. He hears. He moves. He fulfills. He is never late.

The last few weeks, the Lord has really put a burden in my heart to pray for those who are feeling overwhelmed by the ‘waiting period.’ It’s not supposed to overwhelm you sons and daughters of God; yet, it’s almost become a burden to some. Some are giving up on promises because time has passed. Some have even been told by others ‘if the doors haven’t opened, it wasn’t God who spoke.’ That is an easier line to accept because giving up is easy, fighting through is hard. The Lord said; cast your burdens unto the Lord for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He said; the battle is the Lords (2 Chronicles 20:15). He said; My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:19). He said; those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:21). He said, the effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16). He said, even though it tarries; wait for it will surely come (Habakkuk 2:3). He said; My word will not return to me void (Isaiah 55:11).

Things may seem impossible but know with God all things are possible. Keep praying and keep praising Him. Don’t give up because He’s got it covered. If He spoke it, He will bring it to pass. Delay is not denial.

God bless you above and beyond!

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